When the “hard” of teaching needs a new narrative: Two tips for flipping the script
I’m surrounded by teachers. Members of my family are teachers. Many of my friends are teachers. Hundreds of my former students are now teachers. Even my next door neighbour is a teacher. That’s a lot of teachers in my life. The words I hear many of them say is “this is by far the hardest year of teaching I’ve ever had.”
I recently went kayaking with my neighbour. We live on a street that leads to a river. We each tied our boats to a set of wheels and pulled them down the street to the water's edge. Once launched, we put our paddles in the water and headed west. It was at that moment when I asked if she could share more about her experiences in the kindergarten classroom.
“What’s made this year different from any other year? Why is it so difficult?” I inquired.
Her immediate answer was simple.
She feels she needs to show up to school each day ready to support her students and their parents who are exhausted, frustrated, and struggling by the constant changes. She needs to be positive and provide them with solutions to their problems. Or at the very least, offer words of comfort. The issue is that her own energy is waning. She has very little to give.
I was reminded of a marathon with no foreseeable finish line to focus on.
We spent the next half hour of our river paddle talking in more depth about the specific problems occurring in her kindergarten classroom and at her school in general. We talked about the lagging developmental milestones and learning gaps, emotionally unregulated students, escalating conflicts on the playground, detrimental understaffing (untrained volunteers are filling positions), and the inconsistent attendance of all school members.
What I know for sure is that this is not an uncommon story. What my neighbour shared is happening across Canada and in many parts of the world as the “new normal.” This will likely take years to reconcile and mend. A system failing and individuals flailing.
With that said, there is something that can be done to change the narrative. While the school system might take years to rebuild, much of which is out of our control, teachers can respond differently to their circumstances right now. This is not to ignore the real experiences and feelings of teachers who are working day after day through the chaos. I hear you. I see you. Rather, this is about creating change within yourself so you can light a fire within your profession rather than burning out. Be the change you want to see.
“If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. You want change, make some.”
~ Courtney C. Stevens
Believe it to be
Have you ever had the experience of instantaneously changing how you feel about someone or something (even yourself!) just by changing your thoughts? It could be as simple as shifting from “this is impossible” to “I’ve got this!” Our mind is powerful. It can sling words around to pull us down or raise us up. As a matter of fact, everything that makes up our existence begins first as a thought.
There is a well known idiom, “your thoughts create your reality.” Therefore, if you’re repeating negative messages to yourself all day long you will likely feel the effects of that. The good news is that you can train your brain to think differently. Being aware of your thoughts through mindfulness is a great place to start. After all, you can’t change what you can’t see.
With that said, let’s go back to the narrative “this is hard.” What might an alternative be? Consider an affirmation like “I am resilient. I show up every day to the best of my ability for myself and my students.” Or perhaps, “I appreciate all that I have learned about myself over the past two years.” The point is to flip the script from “hard” to something else that speaks of your experience from a new perspective.
Our perception of the world can make the difference as to whether we feel capable or powerless. Whether something is “hard” or possible. You get to decide by how you respond.
Setting boundaries
Most teachers I know struggle to set boundaries when it comes to their personal needs versus the needs of their students. This is especially true of new teachers. They tend to sleep very little, skip lunch breaks, and work after school until the twilight hour only to go home and work some more. It’s no wonder that 41.3% of new teachers (based on a US study) stop teaching in the first five years. However, the statistics aren’t favourable for teachers in general. Even for those who stay, the desire to leave the system is high.
A critical aspect of teacher wellness is establishing boundaries. This might include taking breaks during the day (e.g., recess, lunch), setting time limits on lesson planning, and only committing to one or two school-related extracurricular activities. Teachers also need to prioritize their personal life such as going out with friends, finding time to exercise, and taking up a hobby. While teachers often feel they need to “do it all” when it comes to their profession (and in many cases the expectation to do it all comes from the school board or school administration), it’s impossible. It will never happen and nor should it be a goal.
Boundaries are essentially about honouring our own needs and wants as different and separate from that of others. Creating healthy boundaries allows us to care for ourselves while also doing for others. This is an essential life skill that requires practice. Not only does setting boundaries help teachers become better at their jobs, they can also model this behaviour for their students. In the end, everyone is much better off.
I hope this has been helpful! Is there something else you want to know? If so, ask away in the comments below. You can also call us! We offer FREE 30 minute discovery calls for mentoring and support. Book yours now here.
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Traci L. Scheepstra, Ph.D., is the CEO/Founder of Embodied Learnings. Read here to learn more about her work in education